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The return to school comes with lots of exciting experiences, with new beginnings and a chance to reconnect with friends. It also brings a steady routine. With early mornings and structured days, having a consistent evening routine and good quality sleep becomes essential.
Sleep is critical to brain development as well as physical development. The quality of sleep we get impacts our mood, cognitions (thinking) and reactions, and our ability to learn, grow, and interact with other people. The quality of sleep we need fluctuates throughout life, with pre-schoolers needing 10-13 hours, primary school children needing 9-12 hours, teenagers needing 8-10 hours, and adults needing around 7 or more hours of sleep per day. Factors like lifestyle, physical exercise, hormonal changes and neurodiversity can impact how much sleep we need, as well as how much we actually get.
Historically, sleep was often dismissed as an evolutionary default because it leaves us so vulnerable. Today, modern research is improving our understanding of why it is so essential.
Most children resist sleep at some point or other and this can be particularly frustrating to parents as naptimes and bedtimes can drag on for lengthy periods. It’s normal for children to experience temporary changes in their sleep patterns, especially when they are reaching developmental milestones, such as learning to walk, talk or navigating other developmental changes such as starting school or biological changes related to adolescence. There are many possible reasons your child is resisting sleep such as separation anxiety, overstimulation, overtiredness, undertiredness, hunger, pain or discomfort. Sometimes it is just a case of your child testing boundaries and pushing for independence, however it is important to rule out other possible reasons.
If your child is naturally waking up earlier most days, but cannot fall back asleep and are feeling tired during the day, they could be experiencing early morning awakening insomnia. This can last between a few days to years. The reduced quantity of sleep may affect your child’s mood, attention and behaviour. Ways to notice this in your child include: looking out for fatigue, attention and memory impairments, mood changes, reduced motivation, them sleeping for less than the suggested hours but saying they could not get back to sleep. This is treatable, and a focus on sleep hygiene, a regular routine and bedtime, and methods to reduce your child’s dependency on a parent to fall asleep can all make a difference.
The circadian rhythm is the body’s internal 24-hour clock that regulates the sleep-wake cycle. In some individuals, especially children and teens, this rhythm naturally runs later than the societal norm, making them feel most alert in the evening and sleepy well into the morning. As a result, falling asleep and waking up at conventional times can be extremely difficult, not due to procrastination or screen time, but because of a biological shift in their internal clock.
Supporting your child to improve their sleep hygiene may help to to regulate their internal clock.
During a night terror, your child may appear awake and panicked, with their eyes open, but they’re actually asleep. They won’t remember it afterward, and attempts to comfort them won’t work in the moment. Night terrors usually resolve as the nervous system matures. If they occur, avoid waking your child or waking them up, and try to stay calm throughout.
This is characterised by a partial or full obstruction of the upper part of someone’s breathing airway, leading to interruption of sleep. The symptoms of this include: snoring, hyperactivity, stopping breathing whilst sleeping, and making grunting sounds when they breathe again.
If you notice this in your child, it’s important to consult their GP to access the best treatment for your child.
There’s two main forms of sleep: REM sleep (Rapid eye movement) and NREM sleep (Non-Rapid eye movement). Some children with neurodiverse traits tend to get less REM sleep than others, meaning that they need more sleep to get the full benefits. REM sleep is crucial for brain development, mood regulation and memory consolidation. This means that even with a full night’s sleep, your child may have more sensory sensitivities, difficulties with emotional regulation, and difficulties with change, owing to a reduced amount of REM sleep.
As mentioned briefly above, a lack of adequate sleep can severely impact your child’s life, causing more day-to-day struggles for them. Worries over your child’s sleep, and the consequences of a lack of it, can lead to reduced sleep for you as a parent, which may reduce patience and an ability to concentrate on your child. However, there are some things that you can do to make the sleep process more manageable and more of an enjoyable experience for you and your child.
Reducing resistance to sleep starts with establishing a consistent, calming bedtime routine, particularly after busy or stimulating days. Avoiding electronic devices and bright lights for at least an hour before bed helps signal to the body that it’s time to wind down. Encouraging quiet activities such as reading or colouring, using warm lighting, and avoiding large meals before bedtime can all support this process. Involving your child in agreeing on a suitable bedtime and wake time can give them a sense of control and cooperation. If they wake during the night, keep interactions brief and gently guide them back to bed to reinforce that it’s still time for sleep.
Just like exercise keeps your body healthy, sleep hygiene ensures your brain and hormones are healthy. Poor sleep hygiene can lead to poor sleep, and more difficulties during the waking day. Good sleep hygiene includes: sleeping in a dark room, avoiding lots of exercise before bedtime, regular bedtimes and wake times.
Your body uses wakeful signals to recognise when to be awake, and sleep signals to show when to feel sleepy. If your child’s bed is used for activities other than sleep, then it will get associated with wakefulness, and your body won’t be able to know when to sleep. This can also include being in bed whilst feeling the stress of not sleeping. Other things that keep your brain awake are phone usage or watching TV. A way to reduce this issue is to only use the bed for feeling sleepy or being asleep. If your child is anxious about not sleeping, or can’t sleep, or is watching TV, then encourage them to leave their bed until they feel sleepy.
Your child may be sensitive to sensory stimulation, meaning that certain light, smells and textures may impact their sleep, so being mindful of this can improve their sleep quality. Sensory supports may be the use of earplugs, a comfortable eye mask to reduce light, a weighted blanket or use of black-out curtains.
Prioritising healthy sleep habits can make a big difference in your child’s mood, behaviour, and overall wellbeing. By understanding their individual sleep needs and supporting their natural rhythms, you can help set them up for a successful and balanced school year.
At Assembly, we provide parent-led therapy guided by clinicians. We can advise you on the best methods to help your child, and support you through making meaningful modifications at home, without any changes to your child’s schedule.
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